I Dare You
by Hikari M666
Summary: Oh, come on. They're much too old and mature for a kids' game like Truth or Dare. How did they even get roped into this? Although, now that they think about it, it could be interesting. And it does seem like an awful lot of people have secrets they've been hiding... maybe it's time they were revealed? Multiple pairings!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Yes, I have another one. It's 1:30 in the morning and damnit, I want to publish all my unfinished stories!**

**So, this is your beyond-cliche, done-to-death, truth or dare story. I know it's old, I know it's been tried a million times, but I want my turn. It's hard to find one that isn't just pure crack. I'll try to keep it tasteful.**

**Pairings will maaaaainly keep to my preferences (see my profile for the massive list), but some people will obviously get asked to do things they don't like. In a fun way, of course ;) If you know my stories you know I'm pretty solidly a yaoi person, but in this one, het, yaoi, yuri - everything is on the table. I hope you have fun!**

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"I'm going to rip this thing off," Naruto grumbled, tugging at the silk scarf wrapped tightly around his neck.

"Never been to a formal party, have you?" Sasuke rolled his eyes. "It's customary to wear the clothes of the host nation."

"Yeah, well, Suna's traditional clothes _suck. _Why the hell do they need so many layers when they live in the freaking desert? And seriously, either I rip this stupid scarf off or I choke and die."

"At least you'll leave a very formal corpse."

Sakura groaned and practically inhaled the rest of her drink, thanking the stars that Naruto had at least had the decency to move into a quiet corner of the room before mouthing off about the clothing. Mind you, privately she agreed with him: while the dress kimono she had bought for the occasion was pleasantly soft and clung to her waist in the most flattering way possible, the material _was _awfully thick for such a hot climate. She could have worn this in the snow.

Garments weren't the only uncomfortable things at this party. The way Sakura understood it, one of Gaara's advisors had mentioned to him that in times of extended peace, Kages would often host lavish functions for representatives of allied nations to ensure their friendships were solid. As if it was still a novel realisation that he _had _friends and allies, Gaara took the idea to heart and immediately began planning a party. Unfortunately, event management wasn't one of his strong points, it appeared, as he seemed to have gotten all of his knowledge about parties from a bizarre combination of etiquette guides. There were at least fifty kinds of food no one had ever seen before, since he had obviously been told to cater for all possible tastes, and even more different types of fancy cutlery. Sakura had never been somewhere that required the use of a spoon, chopsticks and six different forks before. Gaara also persistently invited guests to suggest a group activity, which so far no one had deigned to try.

The worst part was that Sakura had a sneaking suspicion that Gaara's guides had informed him that he shouldn't officially end the party until all the guests had begun to leave. On its own it was fine, but Konoha etiquette was to remain until asked to leave. The two cultures' rules cancelled each other out. Hence, they were _never going to get out of here. _

She sat down on one of the many chairs scattered about the room. All the other invitees from villages _without_ contradictory rules had left at least an hour ago, leaving only an array of people from home. At least it was better than being surrounded by strangers. Still, she found she had nothing to say to them: after the pleasant surprise of seeing Sasuke and Naruto clean and dressed up had worn off, all they could do was return to their usual teammate bickering.

She'd tried talking to Ino, but the latter was only interested in fawning over Sasuke and chiding her own teammates for looking so unenthused. Then there was Hinata, who was spending the whole evening squeezed between Kiba and Shino like a wedge, even when there was plenty of space. Maybe she was terrified of social situations and the boys were being her bodyguards. That made any of them an awkward conversation partner. That only left the Suna siblings, and of course Team Gai.

Just as Lee left his conversation with Tenten and looked as if he was going to come over towards Sakura, Ino's sly voice echoed across the room. "An idea for a group activity? Why, Kazekage, I thought you'd never ask!"

Sakura immediately became suspicious.

"How about… " Ino paused to think – or pretended to think, more like it. "A good, old-fashioned game of truth or dare?"

A collective groan arose from everyone around her; evidently a lot of people were listening. The only one who didn't have any reaction was Gaara himself. "I haven't heard of it," he said.

"It's quite traditional," Ino said innocently, but nobody was having a bar of it.

"Traditional for eleven-year-olds, maybe," Temari snapped. "It's a children's game, Gaara."

Chouji was next to pipe up. "I wouldn't mind playing." He shrugged. "It's not like we aren't still technically children, after all."

It was a fair point – almost everyone at the party had barely hit seventeen, let alone any older, regardless of how qualified a shinobi he or she was. Still, truth or dare was a bit of a stretch for an activity suited to their age group. It was a game that was cheeky fun if you were younger, definitely, but seventeen was just too old for '_I dare you to tell Shino you love him!'_ or something like that. Trust Ino, cocky, shameless Ino, to still be interested in it and not even be embarrassed.

On the other hand… if they did play, who knew what shady gossip would come up? Sakura wasn't the gossiping type (of course), but she did have her questions. Like, was that a smudge of make-up on Shikamaru's collar? And if so, whose?

"Sakura's smiling!" Ino declared, pointing, and no matter how hard Sakura tried to keep her expression nonchalant, it was true. "She wants to play as well!"

As Temari unenthusiastically explained the rules to Gaara, Sakura looked around at everyone's facial expressions. It was clear that if a vote happened to determine what the majority thought, there would be absolutely no games being played tonight. Tenten was making a face at Neji, who looked like he pitied everyone in the room for Ino's poor taste. Shino slouched unhappily with his hands in his pockets, and Shikamaru wasn't even acknowledging the situation by so much as opening his eyes. The strangest reaction, though, came from Naruto: still in the corner, he nudged Sasuke with his elbow and muttered, "But what if they ask –"

Sasuke silenced him with a single glance, leaving Sakura bemused.

"– and they have to do it," Temari finished dully.

Gaara seemed to be digesting this with far greater interest than was due. "They _have _to answer you or do what you command?"

"Pretty much."

He frowned thoughtfully. "So you select the person – Kankuro, I'll select you. Then you ask the question – truth or dare?"

It was absurd to hear the phrase come out of Gaara's mouth, so much so that Kankuro goggled at him, jaw having dropped, for several seconds before answering. There were no other conversations going on anymore, so all eyes were on him. "Er… truth, I guess?"

"What is the silicon content of twenty-six grams of anhydrous, purified sand?"

A wave of relieved laughter ran through the group – relieved because it was slightly scary to think of Gaara as the sort who would take a liking to truth or dare under its usual conventions. Meanwhile, Kankuro was looking nonplussed. "How the hell should I know? A million?"

Gaara turned to face Temari again. "He didn't give the true answer."

While Temari struggled to come up with a good response, Neji stepped in.

"The questions are usually less academic and more personal," he said matter-of-factly. "The aim is to get interesting or embarrassing information out of the person, not test their intellect. There also isn't any external power controlling people's answers, so it mainly relies on their honesty."

"So it would be more acceptable for me to ask, say, how many sexual partners Kankuro has had."

In spite of themselves, everyone turned and stared at Kankuro.

"We're not seriously doing this, are we?" he complained.

There certainly wasn't a definitive 'no' coming from the group like there had been a moment ago. Maybe it was because they didn't want to flat-out refuse an idea in which Gaara had expressed such an interest. Or maybe, and this one Sakura believed more likely, a small part of each of their minds twinged with curiosity about what Kankuro's answer would have been. Ino must have observed this too, as she was grinning triumphantly.

It was Kiba who spoke next. "Well, y'know, Gaara _is _the host. Whatever he says, goes. So… I guess you're telling us how many sexual partners you've had."

"I do _not _want to be a part of this," Temari muttered, looking like she was about to leave, but Kankuro shot her a don't-you-dare-abandon-me-here glare. She swore under her breath and unhappily fell into a chair opposite Sakura, who was already planning her own questions. Why play if you weren't going to play prepared?

Kankuro sighed in defeat. "Fine. This is stupid, but fine." He shrugged. "Two."

Aside from Temari pursing her lips slightly, no one reacted much. Two was a number without much impact, neither particularly reserved nor promiscuous. Most likely if everyone in the room were asked the same question, nobody would get any higher than three. There just wasn't the time, being shinobi.

Glancing at Ino, who looked very pleased with herself, Gaara inquired, "Was that embarrassing enough?"

"Almost," Sakura found herself blurting out, nearly against her own will. "We should see if we can figure out who they were!"

Why, _why_ had she done that? Did she want people to think she was some giggling adolescent? But she couldn't help it. Gossip _was _fun. Sue her.

Fortunately, everyone seemed to find her outburst more funny than humiliating, and didn't seem to mind her idea. In fact, it was Hinata of all people who meekly suggested, "Surely Temari and the Kazekage would have some idea." But those two shook their heads, leaving the others to speculate.

"Well, if _they _don't know, he probably hasn't had any local Suna girlfriends."

"One-night stands at parties?"

"What parties, Chouji? This is the first we've been to since we were about ten."

"So if he's always out doing missions… they were probably girls from other villages – maybe even shinobi! Oh!" This was Tenten, her eyes shining intelligently. "Maybe someone from Konoha!"

At that, everyone's necks turned like they were on cranks to face Ino. She gaped.

"No way! Are you kidding? I would not!"

While she protested and all the others had a good laugh at her expense – she started this, therefore she deserved it – Sakura leaned forward to search for guilt in any other eyes. Hinata seemed like an unlikely choice for Kankuro's affections, but it was possible, she supposed. Maybe Kankuro himself would give away the answer by sharing a furtive glance with whoever it was… no, no good, he was just looking at Kiba. Well, it was only a faint hope that he'd accidentally reveal anything; most likely none of the girls here was actually one of the two… it probably wasn't a Konoha girl at all…

Sakura frowned. A radical thought had just occurred to her. The attendees here were working off one very reasonable assumption, but what if that assumption was wrong?

What if Kankuro's sexual partners… weren't girls at all?

She bit her bottom lip, still watching him. His eyes never left Kiba, who in turn was staring determinedly at the ceiling. No one else seemed to have noticed; was it _possible _that this meant what she thought it did? She toyed with the idea of shouting her notion out loud, but reconsidered, realising that if it was true, it was probably being kept secret for a reason. Still, telepathically she tried to beam a question through to Kiba: _Are you secretly gay and have you recently slept with Kankuro?_

Even in her head, it sounded stupid. And Kiba was giving her no telepathic response.

Eager eyes were still flickering from face to face, trying to find the guilty party, and Sakura felt a stab of urgency. She was the only one who could deflect everyone's attention before they realised they were looking at the wrong gender. With no logic behind the decision, her lips parted and she cried out the words, "My turn! Kankuro, ask me! You've had long enough!"

Immediately, cat-calls started. For a second Sakura didn't understand, but then she mentally slapped herself. Of _course _that sounded like an admission of guilt! Her cheeks burned as bright as her hair in embarrassment, unable to stop the whistles and cheers of, "Ooooh!" that were bombarding her from all directions. Ino looked like she would implode if things went any more her way. The only one who looked actively unhappy was – maybe somewhat predictably – Lee, although Naruto looked suitably perplexed; he was probably wondering when Sakura could have possibly found an opportunity to sneak off and sleep with anyone, let alone someone from Suna, and he'd be completely justified in that. Sakura had precisely zero free hours for sex in her life.

At least Kiba wasn't staring at the ceiling anymore, and unless Sakura was very much mistaken, he managed to shoot her a quick, grateful look.

"If you insist." Kankuro rolled his eyes. "What am I doing again? Oh, right, truth or dare? God, this is stupid."

"Dare," Sakura answered, wanting to avoid any more questions just in case.

"Right. Uh… fuck, I don't know. Just go make out with whoever you think's hottest."

She swallowed as others laughed at her expense. The way she remembered dares from when she was a pre-teen, they were more along the lines of shouting 'G-string' in the middle of class at the academy. Making out with someone was rather a step up, and she wasn't sure how well she'd be able to perform in front of a room of friends. As for the part where she got to choose whom she kissed… actually, that should make it easier, surely. At least she wouldn't be recoiling in disgust. On the other hand, it would basically be an admission of attraction, and Ino would never let her hear the end of it.

Still, it could have been much worse. She would take this with dignity. "And how exactly do we define 'hottest'?"

"Whoever you think looks most attractive naked," said Ino, smirking, obviously prepared.

Sakura smiled calmly. "Well, I haven't seen _anyone _here naked –" (At that, Ino bristled disbelievingly.) "– so I'm just guessing here, but I would obviously have to go with Lee."

The noise that followed this statement was one that could only be described as a howl. If this room were in an ordinary house with ordinary neighbours, they would have come pounding on the front door demanding to know why a herd of animals had apparently all gone into a frenzy. It was not a howl of anguish – at least, mostly not – but the predominant emotion contained within was pure excitement.

"Lee!" Tenten squealed, wringing her hands gleefully. "Did you hear that? She finally likes you back!"

Naruto also looked overjoyed (which was a bit of a blow: why wasn't he upset she hadn't chosen _him?_) and even Neji smiled and patted Lee on the back in congratulation. Kiba, his own issues from the previous round forgotten, was wolf-whistling and Chouji clapped with enthusiasm. Lee himself seemed prostrate with shock, eyes wide, glassy and staring at nothing. He didn't even notice when Neji patted him.

Amidst the uproar, Shikamaru surprised Sakura by tapping her on the shoulder. He said dully, "Ino commands me to inform you that she is no longer speaking to you."

"Oh."

"Ironically, she also demands to know what's going through your head and how you were able to not say Sasuke as your answer, since he looks _'just too delicious' _in his formal clothes. And that's not even to mention your Suna boyfriend."

He sounded like he was reading from a script, which, coming from Ino, he probably was. Sakura brushed off Ino's refusal to talk herself – she pulled this dramatic act once a week – and answered pleasantly, "I wouldn't think how well-dressed a person is has any bearing on how attractive they'd be naked. Besides, who exercises more than Lee? Who has better muscles?" With a wink, she added spontaneously, "Who probably has better stamina?"

"Right. Thanks for that. Thanks for making this conversation as much fun as possible for me," Shikamaru grumbled. As he walked away, Sakura wanted to also add, _"And I didn't sleep with Kankuro!" _but it was too late, and across the room, Tenten was vying for everyone's attention.

"Hey, this was a dare, wasn't it? These two should be making out already!"

More cheers erupted, and Sakura felt herself get pushed into the centre of the room, seeing the same happen to Lee. A chant began around them: "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

The two of them looked apologetically at each other – or rather, Sakura looked apologetically at Lee, while Lee looked awkwardly over her left shoulder. He looked like he still wasn't sure this was real. He certainly didn't look capable of initiating a kiss, so it was probably a good thing this was Sakura's dare. Nerves were bouncing in her stomach and throat, the latter of which was very dry all of a sudden. She liked Lee, she really did, and she was more than happy to kiss him, but she had always pictured this moment happening on a date back in Konoha.

And, you know, without the audience.

She had enjoyed her big reveal, having known it would come as a total surprise to everyone. After all, it was only about a month ago that _she _realised she had a crush on Lee, and had spent her less-than-zero free hours deciding what to do about it. She never got any further than that stage, so maybe this dare was the push she needed. Maybe subconsciously that was why she'd wanted to play this infantile game in the first place.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

Lee was still shell-shocked. Realising she had no other options, Sakura took the plunge, taking a step forward to close the distance between them. She rested her right hand on his shoulder (what a well-built shoulder) and her left on his cheek (how warm, and now it was clear he was blushing, too), and she pulled him in so their lips met.

All the happy shrieks were drowned out as she closed her eyes and tilted her head to deepen the kiss. Her lips parted, and suddenly Lee wasn't motionless anymore; his arms were around her waist, holding her, and now he was kissing her back, and somewhere behind them a voice that sounded like Kiba's shouted, "Get a room!"

Sakura stopped what she was doing just long enough to flick her gaze back at him and threaten, "Shut up or it's your turn next!" _And you know I know your secret now. _Luckily, he looked sufficiently scared.

She didn't plan on wasting her question on him, though. No; her target was much closer to home. Naruto was still hanging way back, not playing or guessing, not even teasing her, and she _knew _he was hiding something good.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks for the support! This story's pretty easy to write because it's just my piece of fun. I'm trying not to take it too seriously. I hope you get as much fun out of it as I do!**

**Extra thanks to the guest reviewer who said that somehow I managed to make a Sakura POV not terrible! There'll be a lot of POV-switching in this one and I'll do my best to avoid making anyone too dislikeable.**

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Sakura was a legend, Kiba had concluded shortly after her turn began. Deflecting attention from Kankuro's question even though it basically meant sacrificing herself to the brutality of the crowd, was nothing short of heroic. Not that she seemed to be minding her dare too much. In fact, now that Lee was showing some enthusiasm, her hands were going _everywh_-

Not that it mattered. No, no, no. This little spectacle was not at the top of Kiba's things to watch or think about; he had to keep all his attention on his own problem, namely keeping his thing with Kankuro a secret.

He wasn't ashamed of it, of course. What was there to be ashamed of? It was just that the whole doing-it-with-another-guy-and-a-Suna-guy-at-that revelation might come as a bit of a shock to his friends, who were more used to hearing him rate the girls on how they'd look in bikinis, and making 'that's what she said' jokes to the guys. He was keeping it secret for everyone else's benefit. Yeah. It had nothing to do with the gawks and stares he'd be given if he confessed, or the awkward questions, or the excruciating _you're still my friend no matter what _speeches. He practically welcomed all that. But he was positive that his teammates and acquaintances would have a hard time coping with the emotional whiplash that would go along with seeing his changed image.

As Sakura's kiss with Lee drew to a close, the circle of people around them applauded and began to move back to the chairs and food. Kiba seized the opportunity to slide past Tenten over towards Kankuro. Careful to make sure that no eye contact was made whatsoever, he muttered out of the corner of his mouth, "Well, that was a nice bit of fun."

Kankuro joined in the applause to cover his reply. "What was I s'posed to do? I was ambushed by my own flesh and blood. At least no one figured it out."

"Wrong. Sakura did. You really think she just wanted her turn? She was showing you mercy, way more than you deserve."

"Well, shit. Maybe she enjoyed her turn enough that she'll forget?"

"Yeah, right." Kiba broke the pretence long enough to lightly-but-forcefully punch Kankuro on the shoulder.

"Fine, get her drunk. See if I care. Y'know, it wouldn't bother me in the least if a few people found out about it. Unlike you, I've got nothing to hide. Maybe you should consider manning up about it and telling them yourself."

"Manning – hey, I'm doing this for _them._"

"Sure, that makes sense."

"Oh, shove it up your ass, Suna. Or would you like that too much?"

"That's awfully rich coming from someone who –" Kankuro froze mid-retort as Ino brushed past them on her way to the nearest tray of fruit. Hopefully she hadn't overheard anything incriminating. Watching her like she was a deadly predator, he muttered, "Later."

Kiba jerked his head in a way that was meant to signal assent, but he didn't really care if Kankuro misinterpreted it. If it led to any kind of fight, well, that had a pretty decent method for getting on each other's good side again. He felt a little hot under the incredibly tight collar just thinking about it.

Patting her hair down in case Lee had messed it up, Sakura cleared her throat. "Well, I guess that makes it my turn to ask," she said buoyantly. "And while I'd love to give Ino a piece of my mind… " More than one person laughed at that. "… I think I'll leave that to someone more vindictive than me. So, with that in mind, Naruto: truth or dare?"

Naruto looked like a complete deer in the headlights, which made Kiba frown. What exactly did he think was going to happen, they'd just conveniently skip him for the whole game? He must've had a hell of a secret to look as terrified as he did, and Kiba knew a thing or two about giant secrets. Incidentally, he himself had no idea what to do when someone said those godawful three words to _him. _He couldn't answer 'truth', because there wasn't a question in existence that wouldn't prompt a confession, but he also couldn't say 'dare', in case he got a challenge like Sakura's that made him have to identify Kankuro as the hottest person in the room to him.

There was only one right answer, really. He'd have to lie. Truth or dare wasn't exactly a binding contract.

"Dare," Naruto said apprehensively. Was he having a similar internal debate?

Sakura looked disappointed with the response, apparently having hoped for a question. "Okay. Um, anyone have any ideas?"

The outburst of petty malice that followed indicated that a _lot _of people must have had grievances with Naruto for which they wanted revenge. Shino suggested that he punch himself in the stomach. Tenten declared that he should strip and do a naked lap around the building, which made a lot of people howl with laughter. Chouji said that he should get down on one knee and declare his eternal love to Sasuke – now that one put a look of horror on his face! Even Temari scathingly added that she wouldn't mind seeing him wipe clean the toilet with his tongue. Luckily for Naruto, Sakura looked distinctly ill at that.

"No one will be cleaning anything with tongues!" she cried, shuddering.

"Tell that to Lee's tonsils," Ino retorted. More raucous laughter. Sakura blushed but didn't respond, moving into a thoughtful pose, resting her chin on one hand. Watching intently now, Kiba wondered exactly what she had planned; she was smart, and she knew Naruto better than anyone.

"Okay! I've got it. Naruto, this should be easy. I want you to go around the whole room… and give everyone, _everyone_, a kiss on the lips."

She was smiling knowledgeably, but Kiba didn't get it. A few tiny pecks on the lips? How was that satisfying? Naruto must have given Sakura a lifetime's worth of embarrassment over the years, but as soon as she was handed a chance to return the favour, she squandered it just like that?

"That's it?" said Naruto pensively, making it clear that he didn't trust her.

"That's – oh!" Sakura covered her mouth girlishly with one hand, not at all disguising how fake it looked. "Silly me. When I say you have to kiss everyone, I wasn't including myself, of course. And not Lee, either. I think we're spoken for."

"And what if _we're _–" Temari began, before cutting herself off in horror.

"What if you're also spoken for?" Sakura said sweetly.

Oh, she was good. She was goddamn devious. And Kiba wasn't the only one who realised how clever she'd been – Temari, of course, looked furious with herself for walking into a trap, and nearby Neji gave an appreciative chuckle. However, there were some that still didn't get it.

"Of course, I don't want to break up any relationships here. If anyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend, please, feel free to exempt yourself from the dare."

Now everyone understood what the wily vixen was up to. She wasn't just getting Naruto: she was getting all of them. If anyone was in a relationship, they would have to admit it to the whole room unless they wanted to awkwardly explain to their partner later why they'd lied and let themselves be kissed by someone else. Sakura had turned one dare into fourteen truths.

There was a long, tentative pause as everybody exchanged glances, waiting to see who would make an admission first. It was actually kind of amusing to look at all the different expressions on people's faces during the silence and try to figure out their thoughts. Kiba realised that the others probably had the same fun earlier when they were guessing who Kankuro had slept with – personally, he hadn't been able to enjoy that one too much. The funniest expression at the moment was the one of dread plastered on Naruto, and who could blame him?

_Hoping that a few specific people will count themselves out, _Kiba suspected. _I can just imagine him trying to kiss Sasuke and Sasuke tearing him a new one. Poor sucker._

And Sasuke wasn't putting up his hand. Glaring, but not putting up his hand. Surely if he really wanted to get out of this he'd just lie and say he had a girlfriend – but with people like Ino around, that could be opening an even worse can of worms.

Temari groaned. "Fine. Whatever. I gave it away already, anyway." She was clearly doing her best to remain dignified even though Sakura had caught her out. "I have a boyfriend, so Naruto can keep his mitts away from me."

Mouths started opening to bombard her with questions but they were quickly given a distraction. Someone else coughed and said in a meek voice, "Me, too."

It was so quiet that Kiba almost looked at Hinata first, but it wasn't her. It was Ino.

"Huh?" Sakura goggled.

"You're not serious," said Tenten.

Ino drew herself up indignantly. "What? Are you saying I can't have a boyfriend?"

"No," said Chouji. "We're saying you _don't_ have a boyfriend. Because you don't."

"I do!"

"Then who is it? Don't tell me; it's a secret and you've sworn to keep it to yourself."

"I – I –" Ino sputtered. "Well, it's true."

But it was obvious that nobody believed her, including Kiba. It was just like her to make a meaningless bid for attention, if a rude one: she could have revealed this 'fact' at any time, but she chose to do it right when it looked like the biggest insult to Naruto, like she was saying, 'I'd rather lie and look stupid than kiss you!' Which would've been fine if someone like Sasuke said it, but _Ino?_

"Fine." Sakura rolled her eyes. "Temari _and _Ino can sit out. Anyone else?" She looked around, and for a split second, her gaze locked with Kiba's. "Anyone?"

Oh, shit. How had he missed that? She knew about him and Kankuro and was expecting them to say they were taken! Shit, he'd been so caught up in everyone else's misfortune that he hadn't even considered his own. Now that it was forced on him, he found his mouth was dry and he had no idea what he was going to say.

He… would not call Kankuro his boyfriend. Not in a million years. That conjured up images of dates and dinners and hand-holding, and they did precisely none of those things. On the rare occasions that they were able to get together it was just for sleep and, well, not sleep. Kankuro and Temari came to Konoha frequently as envoys and needed places to stay for the nights they were there. Temari went to a hotel or something, whereas Kankuro went to Kiba's, demanding to be allowed to crash.

The first time was completely platonic, and very strange. It was around two years ago and no earlier than three in the morning. Kiba was jerked awake by a loud banging on the door; he pulled himself up to answer it and was almost slammed against the wall as Kankuro blew past him, backpack dragging on the ground beside him, heading for Kiba's bedroom. Still only half-conscious from tiredness, Kiba barely recognised him and couldn't muster up the energy to ask what the hell was going on, so he just groaned and went to sleep on the couch.

In the morning, Kankuro gave no explanation for what had happened. In fact, he strode out of the house with as few words as when he arrived and left Kiba to discuss it with his very baffled mother. And that was it until the following night.

This time, there was no knock at the front door, but at Kiba's bedroom window instead, and at the more reasonable hour of eleven. Kiba suspiciously slid the window open only to almost get kicked in the face as Kankuro swung himself through. He went straight for the bed again and was asleep before Kiba could even begin yelling. Another night on the couch.

And then there was a gap the following night. Kiba had spent all day planning how he was going to both give Kankuro a piece of his mind and refuse point-blank to open any more doors or windows, and the bastard didn't even show up. However, the reprieve was temporary, and the _next _night when he returned Kiba was disarmed enough to let him in again.

It was the window again, and straight from the window to the bed, only this time as Kiba prepared to leave, Kankuro said, "You know, you could always man up and stay. This bed's great and you're not even fighting for it."

The fact that the first thing out of him in four days was a taunt enraged Kiba. "Fight for it? _Fight for it? _You want – you just – okay, just what the hell is this? And if you keep ignoring me I'm going to punch your goddamn head off."

"Woah, dude. Are we friends or not?"

"Are we?"

"Sure we are. Friends that don't talk much, or see each other, or haven't actually met more than once or twice… what's your name again?"

"So what are you doing here?" Kiba seethed.

"Seeking friendly sanctuary. I don't have any money on me and I needed somewhere to stay. Now, as a friend and a shinobi, I'd say it's your solemn duty to let me borrow your place."

He was mind-numbingly aggravating and the most self-assured person Kiba had ever met, but somehow it worked. Somehow after a bit more snapping they reached the unsettling compromise of both sleeping in the bedroom. Then, weeks later on Kankuro's next visit, they were both in the bed itself. Kiba couldn't remember when exactly it turned into sex instead of sleep but it didn't take long. And from then on, Kankuro continued to visit every few months and Kiba tried to accommodate by finding any excuse to get his mother and sister out of the house.

But calling him a boyfriend?

"No one?" Sakura was beginning to look crestfallen. Kiba thought he could feel Kankuro's eyes burning into him but he couldn't turn to find out. He almost imperceptibly shook his head.

"Oh," said somebody else. "Are we still doing this? Yeah, I'm out, too."

Everyone simultaneously turned – towards Shikamaru. Earlier he had been sitting but over time he had slouched so he was lying across two chairs. He was holding one arm gingerly, probably because he'd dozed off and slept on it badly, but it kind of looked like someone had hit him.

"You?" Shino said. "You can be bothered to have a girlfriend?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "I didn't say I was good at it." He rubbed at his arm, and even from a distance Kiba could definitely see a sheen of redness on it. He also couldn't help but notice how close to him Ino was. She may have been petite but as half the guys present knew first-hand, she had a brutal slap. Kiba may have been on the receiving end of it once after he'd laughed as Akamaru did some of his business on her towel when she was swimming one day. Or maybe she slapped him for watching her while she was swimming. That would make sense, too. But the point was, that mark on Shikamaru's arm could have easily been caused by a slap.

_Why would she do that? Unless she was trying to make him do something… _"Hey," Kiba called out. "Ino, is _he _your boyfriend?"

There was some noise of surprise and bewilderment, but it was nothing compared to the wave of agreement that went around the room. Two-thirds of those present were nodding or smiling knowingly, having not missed the fact that Shikamaru had confessed mere moments after Ino. Meanwhile, Shikamaru himself groaned. "Are we really getting into this?"

"If it's not my turn, I'm not answering anything," said Ino, turning her nose up to the ceiling. "Besides, way to jump to conclusions! I mean, just because –"

"Just because they're on the same team doesn't mean they have to end up together," Temari finished for her, standing on Shikamaru's other side.

"That would sure leave _you _in an awkward position, Temari." Tenten grinned.

"Ugh, don't do that. Just don't."

"Oh, what's a little incest joke between friends?"

"Wasn't it Naruto's turn?" Kankuro asked loudly, drowning out the girls.

Oh, yeah, they had all completely forgotten why they were having this discussion in the first place! Naruto had been uncharacteristically quiet, no doubt trying to fade into the background so he wouldn't be made to fulfil his dare. No such luck.

"Go on then, Naruto." Sakura smiled. "You've got… nine people to kiss."

"And only two of them are female," pointed out Ino.

Naruto grimaced as he knew there was no way of getting out of this. With an expression of mortal dread he looked for a place to start, but he didn't seem to want to move his feet.

"Oh, hurry up! Just go alphabetically."

"Right. Er… so that would be –"

"Well, first Chouji, then Gaara… "

He swallowed. "Hey, how about reverse alphabetically instead?"

"Thanks, man," said Chouji.

"No offence. It's Gaara I'm scared of."

"Thanks."

"N– no! What I meant was –"

"Oh, this is stupid!" Tenten threw her arms up in frustration and marched up to Naruto. She very forcefully seized him by the shoulders and planted a kiss on his lips, remaining there only for a second before pulling away. She patted him on the back. "See how easy that was? Now, I managed to do that even though I'm not attracted to you at all. Like, at all. So get it together!"

Naruto could only open and close his mouth like a fish.

"No offence," Tenten added.

She had managed to lighten the mood, though, and that was enough to get things moving again with laughter instead of tension. Even Naruto himself cracked a weak smile as someone informed him that, going reverse alphabetically, Shino was next. Kiba found it great fun to watch them approach each other, circling like wolves, then leaning their heads in with the wariness of people exposing themselves to a contagion. They gave each other the tiniest of kisses before drawing back with bitter facial expressions. Naruto actually winced.

"What?" Shino asked defensively.

"Nothing. I – I kind of expected bugs to come out or something."

"You're an idiot."

Next it was Sasuke's turn. Kiba was looking forward to the explosion that this would inevitably become, but it turned out to be rather anticlimactic: apart from giving each other an unblinking, evil eye, it could have been a chaste, greeting kiss from some exotic culture. They must have silently made an agreement to get it over with as quickly and painlessly as possible. Not bad for people who claimed to hate each other's guts, but then, they had worked together for over five years. They were bound to have experienced worse than this together.

Who was next? Kiba fumbled through the alphabet and found that it came to a grinding halt at 'N'. The mood grew, if possible, even more palpably tense, because unlike the last three victims, Neji made no move to approach Naruto under his own steam. Instead he folded his arms over his chest and jutted his chin out challengingly, eyes promising pain if Naruto so much as _blew _him a kiss.

Naruto turned to Sakura. "I can't do it if he's looking at me like that."

"He'll let you."

"No, I won't," Neji said firmly. A few people closest to him groaned.

"Get the stick out of your ass, Neji."

"Come on, suck it up. Everyone else had to do it."

"He's not _that _bad a kisser."

But he remained staunchly stubborn, and didn't explain why his objection should have been more significant than anyone else's. With a lurch deep in his stomach, Kiba wondered if on top of being proud and callous, Neji might have been the slightest bit homophobic. It would explain a lot: he had never really liked Kiba; maybe he could sense the homosexuality emanating from him? Oh God, what if it wasn't just Neji? What if everyone could sense it? Maybe he was being really obvious about it and they were all just too polite to tell him. _Poor little Kiba_, they went, _thinking he's fooling us. It's sad, really. He couldn't act more gay if he tried._

Meanwhile it was his turn to kiss Naruto after Neji. He resolved that he would have to refuse, too, if Neji got away with it.

"Neji, I swear, if you don't do it I will make your life hell," Tenten threatened. "I'll stop taking your side when Lee nominates running five hundred laps as a team-building activity."

"You're embarrassing yourself more by dragging it out longer," Hinata chimed in.

"What are you so afraid of?" asked Gaara.

Colour was rising in Neji's cheeks as they talked at him, egged him on, basically calling him a chicken for his reluctance. From what Kiba knew about him (mainly through Hinata), he hated being called a coward more than anyone in Konoha. He was violently competitive – being on a team with Lee would do that – and took any loss personally, whether in a fight or in a game of I Spy. It must have been killing him, sacrificing his indelible pride for his prejudice.

After a time, he said stiffly, "Fine. But if you tell anyone… " It sounded like he was addressing everybody, but he was definitely looking at Hinata. Family problems, then.

Hinata shook her head. "I wouldn't."

Neji relaxed, but just barely. Naruto kissed him and it was every bit as uneventful as it should have been. There was no enjoyment or attraction in it and no one cared enough to tease them for it. That made it Kiba's turn.

He figured now that refusing was a stupid plan that would only draw attention to him. He'd just have to get it over and done with like Sasuke had. No words, no fuss, no problem. And knowing that it definitely wasn't cheating because Kankuro definitely wasn't his boyfriend made it easier, too. He and Naruto shrugged at each other and moved in for the kiss. It felt much slower than it must have looked, and Kiba managed to feel every tiny facet of it: as they leaned in, his skin prickled as it sensed the approaching body heat; Naruto's scent engulfed his olfactory bulb and it was so unfamiliar, so unlike Kankuro's, that for a second he wanted to pull away; and the instant their lips touched, he sensed something strange.

Part of being a shinobi was having awareness of one's surroundings, and Kiba was aware of some strong emotion being sent his way. He was pretty good at reading people's intentions, and someone was intending some very intense hatred right now. He tried shutting his eyes but that made it worse. Thankfully, it vanished as soon as the kiss ended.

Weird.

Naruto wrinkled his nose. "You need to work on your breath."

"Yeah, well, your lips felt like tree bark." Kiba wasn't really paying attention to Naruto's insult, instead searching for Kankuro. _He_ must have been the one boring pure loathing into him at the sight of him kissing someone else, after all. He must have been taking their non-relationship more seriously than Kiba thought. Shit, that could require some damage control.

But Kankuro didn't look bothered. In fact, he looked about as interested in these events as Shikamaru. And it was his turn to kiss Naruto next, and he was showing no scruples. They shared a hasty kiss, leaving Kiba confused and searching wildly for any other possible source of the hatred. It wasn't easy. All he could see was Kankuro's indifference, his willingness to pretend there was nothing going on between them. It was annoying. He looked like he didn't give a shit, and he could have at least given a shit a _little _bit.

It was hypocritical to the extreme, Kiba knew, but it still ate at him.

Damnit, he wasn't as good at spotting secrets from a distance as Sakura was. He couldn't figure this out at all. The only people he could see who looked angry were the ones who always looked angry, like Sasuke and Gaara. Even if it was one of them, he'd never be able to tell. It was useless.

After Kankuro came Hinata, but as he kissed her, Naruto didn't express much relief at being up to a girl again. Maybe he was nervous about getting up to the next one: Gaara.

Honestly, it was hard to imagine anything weirder. It was remarkable that sleeping with Kankuro every so often was the easiest thing in the world, and yet his brother was the closest thing to an asexual being that Kiba had ever known. He couldn't kiss people, surely. Naruto obviously agreed: nervous and indecisive, he wrung his hands. This was scarier than Neji, only at least Neji was _trying_ to be scary. For Gaara it was innate.

Kiba knew that thinking of Gaara as frightening was a slightly unfair assumption. Since becoming Kazekage no one had a bad word to say about him, except that he knew how to throw a really odd party. But it was hard to forget how psychotic he could be if he tried, and Kiba hadn't exactly gone out of his way to get to know him better.

Trying to diffuse the tension, Naruto jokingly asked him, "So, you do this a lot?"

"No, never."

"Heh, yeah, me neither." He paused. "Although, when you say never… do you mean… like… never?"

"I mean I've never kissed someone." Gaara was matter-of-fact, not embarrassed or defensive about it. He didn't treat it as a sensitive topic to be tiptoed around. But wow, Kiba could barely remember a time before having kissed someone! Granted, he didn't really enjoy it for the first couple of years because the whole being-gay thing took him a while to figure out, but still, kissing was such an integral part of his life. It was so normal. Of course, Gaara wasn't exactly normal.

Naruto looked at him with entreating eyes. "I can't do that," he protested. "I can't be the first person you've ever kissed. It's weird."

"Worried you'll be a disappointment?" Sasuke said.

"No! Why would you –"

"Why shouldn't you be the first person I kiss?" Gaara demanded. "You were my first friend."

There was a clamour to be the one to respond to this, but Temari got in before the others. "Gaara, most people have their first kiss with someone they want a relationship with."

"Did you?"

Neji added, "For most people it's taken more seriously than a party game."

"Was _yours_?"

"And most guys would want it to be with a girl – and don't ask me whether mine was!" Naruto said heatedly.

"Well, it wasn't," muttered Shino.

"Shut up."

"It was Sasuke."

"Shut up!"

"Sasuke?" Kankuro raised his eyebrows. "How have I not heard this story?" But no one bothered enlightening him. Perhaps they, like Kiba, had all but forgotten about that stupid Academy day four (or was it five?) years ago, while Naruto not only remembered, but appeared haunted by it.

"Let's – let's just forget about – wait!" A sudden idea apparently struck him. "Hey Sakura, how about this? I'll do the rest of the dare – I will – but only after he's already had a first kiss. Isn't that better? You don't want his first to be me, do you?"

Sakura considered. "You'd probably ruin it," she admitted.

"I don't care either way," said Gaara.

But maybe Sakura did. Kiba didn't know her well enough to know how sentimental she was about this sort of thing.

"Well… " A smile inched across her face. "I guess… we'd better figure out a good first person to kiss him, then. Fine; you can wait."

Naruto looked delighted.

"But you still have to kiss Chouji."


End file.
